the art of positive change

The old ways of doing things are dying, and I say good riddance.  When I say “the old ways” I mean the industrial, top-down, what’s in it for me approach to life.  As we look around us in the world today, we can clearly see that all of that is broken and is hanging on by a thread.  It used to be that the key to becoming wealthy and successful was that if you could train enough people to do things the way you wanted them to, they could make you a lot more than you’re paying them.  This mindset trickled through to people’s lives, and by and large, it became the status quo way of getting by in life.

The key to security was to work for someone who wielded this power, and if you just did what you were told, you’d retire out with a nice pension and live happily ever after.  This is changing.  The safety nets are going away.  What we have now is a world where we have two choices:  adapt and grow…. or be left behind.  The old way taught us that we needed permission to do good things.  We didn’t want to stick our neck out with a radical idea, because we might get cast out.  If it wasn’t in the handbook, we probably shouldn’t be doing it.

Now we’re in an age where we don’t need permission anymore.  We have all the tools to change the world for the better, one interaction at a time.  Whatever it is we do, whether it’s CEO of a big corporation, or a clerk at a retail store, the name of the game is changing people’s lives, if even a little bit, one interaction at a time.  This is how we become indispensable.  The “For Dummies” follow the textbook/handbook way of doing things is broken.  It turns out that things don’t improve much that way.  We now have to spread our art, whatever that may be.  Art can’t be read in a book or taught in a school.  It’s something that’s incredibly authentic and comes from you and you only.  It’s imprinting the fingerprint of your soul on your world.  This fingerprint can’t be replicated or copied.  If you’re mindset is: “What can I do to get by without getting in trouble or making anyone angry, and if this doesn’t work, how can I gain the upper hand and control this person?”, this has to change to something like: “In this interaction I’m having right now, how can I connect with this person and positively change their world for the better, if even a little bit?”.    Every interaction is different and must be handled differently.  This is where the art comes in.  We have to constantly adapt so we can have a bigger range of interactions.  It’s no fun to just be able to positively relate to one kind of person.  Each case is unique.

Again, the dojo is an ideal place to work on this.  How may times do we go through class and just go through the motions?  I’m just as guilty as anyone of this.  When we go home at night, we don’t even remember who we trained with.  Try something out, and see how it changes your Aikido:  Each time you bow in to somebody, consciously acknowledge them.  It’s easy to do that to people you like to train with, but how about with those you’re not too thrilled to train with.  Especially with them, while bowing in to that person, mean what you say when you say “onegai shimasu”.  Before you start the exercise of doing the technique, look them in the eye and acknowledge them.  Connect with them.  As much as you’re working on the technique, you’re also working WITH THIS OTHER PERSON.  Ease into the exercise a little.  Think to yourself, “Right now is my only opportunity to have an enriching and possibly enlightening experience with this other person, and I plan to put my consciousness into allowing this to happen.”  Make it into more of an authentic and enjoyable experience instead of unconsciously bowing to them quickly, not even looking at them, and rushing right into the technique where you just try to do it better than them.  If you’re taking ukemi, as you go through the fall and stand up, maintain that connection and intensify it each time.  Think of it, the people in the dojo we  respect the most are those who give us that connection.  We don’t really care how “good” of martial artists they are.  Sure, that may be impressive, but we really ENJOY training with those we have that connection with.  What if we had that with everyone in the dojo?  At our job?  On the highway?  In the DMV?  We may actually enjoy life a bit more and spread that to those we interact with.

4 comments

  1. Jonas, great post. I find it hard to change old habits in many areas of my life at times. Change can be a very difficult thing to do, despite the negative baggage that stares me in the face. Yet once one takes that step (and it can be a little step or what seems like jumping off a cliff) the energy is usually freeing and often empowering. Whether it has involved quitting a job that was making me sick, moving from home ownership to condo renting, or starting a business, all these change have started like tai no henko in that you say “onegai shimasu” and offer your hand to someone or something. All the fear is addressed by looking your opponent or partner in the eyes with sincerity and offering to take a chance and thus be vulnerable. I think that this humility is essential to having the opportunity to be successful in aikido / life. Thanks again for that insight. It certainly allowed me some introspection.

    • Eric, thanks for the kind words. You’re absolutely right. Those past experiences, as difficult as they were, have all lead up to your present experience. Being a successful small business owner, doing the great work that you do, and being a genuine person on top of that, it’s nice to see a living embodiment of these principles.

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