A good intention to set for ourselves while training is to try to “create something new” out of the “attack” which transforms it from an attack to a… new thing. First, in our mind, we have to get out of the “dealing with this attack” mindset. When we see it as an “attack” it then becomes an attack. The aikidoist takes this physical movement of the attack and turns it, first in their mind, to a “gift” of energy which they then mold into their own creation of an Aikido technique. This is easier said than done and there is much mind-spirit-body work we need to do before we can do this in real life, which is why spirituality/mental training is such a big part of Aikido. If we see this as an attack in which we need to defend, we get tight and do things to jeapordize our situation. It then becomes a fight in which the better fighter wins. When you mentally take the fight out of it, you then totally control the situation and can work on making a better outcome.